El Rey de las Fritas

Cuban food is like crack, only not as healthy and tastier. Yeah, it’s that good. I’ve often wondered how any individual – let alone an entire country – could possibly survive on a diet so heavy in grease, fat, carbohydrates and other artery-constricting agents. Take fritas for example, a distinctively Cuban morsel as delicious as it is deadly. It is essentially a Cuban variation of the classic American hamburger, but to simply call it an interpretation would be an insult. The frita is a unique creation that deserves recognition in and of itself. Cubans did to burgers what Chuck Berry did to the Blues. You dig?

So what is a frita? Basically, it’s seasoned and spiced meat sandwiched in between a toasty bun. However, when I say “seasoned and spiced” I really have no idea what I’m talking about. You see, the meat used in fritas is dark orange in color, or maybe a bright red. It is the definition of mystery meat. I’ve heard rumors that it’s actually ground beef mixed with chorizo (Spanish sausage), though I have yet to verify that. The meat is grilled with an equally mysterious bright orange sauce and served with freshly diced onions, a slice of cheddar cheese and shoestring potato-fries all placed in the bun, they are not sides.

In Miami, we’ve been blessed with a flourishing and proud Cuban community, and getting fritas is fairly easy. You can find them on most menus at your standard Cuban restaurant, but there’s only one place where you can have the original, the best fritas in all of Miami: El Rey de Las Fritas. They’ve got quite a few locations all around the Dade County area and as their name implies, they specialize in making our tasty little friend. There are two that I’ve been to, one in Little Havana on Eighth Street and the other in the Westchester area on Bird Road and 92nd Ave. by Bird Bowl.* I actually had the privilege of seeing a man who may very well have been “El Rey” himself at the Bird Rd. location. He looked to be in his sixties, was very overweight, wore a thick dark moustache, equally dark aviator sunglasses and spoke very little outside of the orders he gave to the ladies working behind the counter. If he wasn’t “El Rey” then he was certainly one of his top generals.

I have been told however, of another frita supplier in the great MIA that supposedly rivals even “El Rey.” I have yet to visit this place, but they call it “El Mago de Las Fritas,” that’s “The Magician of The Fritas” to you gringitos. That’s a whole other review however, and to be frank, “El Mago” has a lot to compete with. Oh and by the way, “El Rey de Las Fritas” also happens to make some kickass shakes. Hasta luego mis socios!

* Editor’s note: the Rey de las Fritas off Kendall and 137th Str., is noticeably worse than the locations mentioned above, for full enjoyment, the House of Mirrors would suggest the other locations.

Food: *****

Price: $

Date-Worthy: ♥

(Note: Ratings are out of five)

- Ivan J. Vargas

Little Havana

Miami is often depicted as a sunshine paradise full of beautiful faces and places. It is. It’s the greatest place on Earth, no really. Here, you’ll find a kaleidoscopic revelation of humanity on display. However, sometimes the most impacting and culturally defining locations take a little digging. Last Thursday, the gang traveled to the celebrated Little Havana, or Calle Ocho, to trace our Hispanic roots and get in touch with one of the most culturally rich subsets in Miami. We passed bakeries, record stores, cafeterias, domino clubs, and other interesting spectacles invigorated by culture. Cuban old-timers resting on park benches discussing their ancient doctrines and historical recollections. Hordes of citizens packed together in the streets wearing straw hats and puffing cigars, rambling on about the primordial ways of the beloved country they yearn for. It’s impossible not to pause in bewilderment and reflect on the beauty of it all. All these people. United. Reconstructing a city to mirror the life that they so deeply miss.

As you walk down the sidewalk, you can hear the sharp, cataclysmic clatter coming from Maximo Gomez Park, the domino park, where dozens of residents (only ages 55 and up can play at this park) socialize and “hacen agua”—they shuffle the dominoes before a new game—while others play a game of cards or chess. The park is a gathering place and a sanctuary for seniors seeking to mingle with others, but, don’t be fooled, they take their games very seriously. The exhibition is both heartbreaking and beautiful. It illustrates the dying manifestation of Hispanic, particularly Cuban, heritage—a living and breathing link to the past. A piece of history for some and a piece of familial correlation for others. Little Havana was inhabited and established by a cluster of proud, patriotic exiles. They arrived with customs that they sought to integrate in our society and thus created a unique, idyllic offshoot of Cuban life itself. The city was revolutionized musically, artistically, and downright culturally. Consequently, they produced yet another distinct and mesmerizing division in the idiosyncratically remarkable and communal city that is Miami. So swing by, grab a Batido de Trigo and a Medianoche, and immerse yourself.

- Gabriel Heredero

An Introduction to My-ami

Aside from an exceedingly clever turn of phrase, My-ami, is exactly that - mine. As it is every other beautiful person’s that calls this beautiful place home. This near fanatical loyalty comes from the understanding that Miami is a special place, a cross section of so many cultures and walks of life, Cubans, retirees, Jews, and homosexuals basically everything you need to make a pretty cool place to call home. And well, we’ve noticed that there isn’t a place where people can talk about all the little mom and pop shops and eccentric places that naturally spring from such a unique amalgamation. We would therefor make ourselves glorified tour guides and our grandiloquence can and arguably should be reduced to, “and on your right is Bird Bowl, a great place to play 10 frames for three dollars on Wednesday and to hear the native Miami Accent in its natural habitat.”

We would establish this blog therefore as a forum to exhibit and revel in the very heart and soul of Miami - to Miamians and non-Miamians alike, to the extent that we here at the House of Mirrors with our admittedly over-large heads are fit to the task. We would seek to go beyond sunny beaches and high rises and beyond the Miami Vice and Scarface stereotypes, to establish that dulce de leche-like core that is Miami.

In any event, as often as possible, we will be bringing you the sights and sounds of Miami, featuring articles and photos about those cool little nooks and crannies and can’t miss spots, where we ourselves cut our proverbial teeth. We will also have interviews with the townsfolk that are the lifeblood of Miami in its multi-ethnic splendour. This blog will be supplemented by the Hall of Echoes podcast, so be sure to check that out, so until our next installment - Dios te bendiga, abrigate que hay un frio de pipi, y Cuba libre.

- Eduardo E. Gesio